Now this is a sweet boy....

Day 2 in Wuhan - 9 days left

Day 2 was good…really good. One meltdown because Rob told him “No” when he was being defiant, but the truth is he is testing his Daddy and that’s actually a good thing. If he’s comfortable enough with Rob to push the boundaries…great! Things are going in the right direction.

The registration and notarization appointment went well and Josiah is officially ours…Praise Jesus.  Sometimes I never thought this day would come. Such relief in seeing that red little foot print : )  I thought that it might be difficult for Josiah because the orphanage director was there as well as his nanny. Rob sent me a picture of him with his nanny and it’s a sad picture.  Not sad because Josiah looks sad, but sad because he looks indifferent and that is so sad for me. I know he obviously bonded with her or he wouldn’t be grieving, but he doesn’t look like anything in this picture. Nothing in his eyes. All of his other pictures have so much expression. There’s usually so much in his eyes. Nothing in this picture. It’s just plain sad. When Izzy and Mari left Hidden Treasures I had pictures given to me of that day and they looked happy. You could tell they loved their foster family so much. This wasn’t the case in this picture. Now, I wasn’t there so I can’t say exactly how he acted around her, but this picture haunts me. Then tonight Skyping with them I asked Rob if he gives kisses or if he lets Rob kiss him and he said to me “he doesn’t know what that is”.  So Rob showed me by trying to kiss him and it’s quite clear that Jos has no idea what he’s doing. So, I kept having Mari and Izzy kiss me on Skype while Josiah was looking. Over and over they kissed me. It was sweet. They were teaching their brother already : ) He turned his head and put his mouth on Rob’s neck. Poor baby has no idea. He hasn’t been kissed or kissed anyone. It broke my heart. How could this beautiful little almost three year old boy not been kissed. I told Rob he’d better get to showing him because his Momma is going to kiss him all the time. All the time !!! I have three years of lovin on this boy to make up for.  I can tell that he likes my voice. When he hears me he smiles. Rob taught him his name and he says “siah” instead of Josiah. So sweet. “Mama” by far is my favorite thing to hear him say : ) The girls loved seeing him. Izzy couldn’t get over how cute he was. Mari seemed a little more skeptical about him which is not her style at all. I’m wondering if she’s starting to understand that she’s not the baby anymore. Lordy things are going to get complicated around here.  I’m realizing the more I see him and how he is beginning to interact more with Rob that there’s been no one on one for him at the orphanage...not that I thought there had been. It's just evident that there really hasn't been much individual attention given. Rob said in just two days he’s learned so much. He hardly talked at first and he’s already learning new words in English. He’s learning sign language as well. It’s so sweet to see them communicating although they don’t speak each others language. Just goes to show you love is a language of it’s own.  

When he went to bed last night there was no crying. He was playing with his stacking cups and he just put them down and walked over to the bed where Rob was and held out his arms. He climbed up in bed with his Daddy and laid down with his head propped up on Rob’s knee put his fingers in his mouth and literally fell asleep looking into his Daddy’s eyes. He only woke up one time during the night. The night before was every thirty minutes. I know he’s confused. I’m sure he has no idea what is going on, but I can already tell that he knows he is loved. 

Rob was given a beautiful book. They called it a “finding” book.  It has all the information about where Josiah was found. What condition he was in. It has pictures of his time at the Xiangfan Orphanage. His milestones there. It holds some of the missing pieces that every family that adopts from China has.  Some of the pieces. You never have everything.  There’s always that time from birth till they were abandoned and found that you’ll never ever know. He was also given the clothes that Josiah was found in at two months old.  I’m really grateful that they took the time to put this together for us. It means a lot especially when there is almost a three year gap in your child’s story. When you do a life book for your child that came into your family through adoption from China there’s a painful gap. It sticks out like a sore thumb and inevitably they ask as they get older. This helps some with that and I’m very grateful they did this for him. It means so much to me. 

So far so good. It’s going way better than I expected.  To God be the Glory.

Gotcha Day - Day 10

I can't tell you how relieved I am...Thank You Jesus.  Rob said he walked into the Civil Affairs office and Josiah came right to him. Right into his arms. Goodness...I'm so grateful. 

He did pretty well at Civil Affairs and on the ride home. He cried a tiny bit in the van and the elevator but got over it quickly. In the hotel room he was into everything. Exploring the room. Running around. Climbing on things. Throwing his ball. Throwing his car. Rob said there is definitely no signs of high muscle tone in any of his limbs. He looks great. Very healthy. Praise God. He says "Mama" and "Baba". He knew from the pictures that we sent that Rob was his Baba.  When I Skyped with them he pointed to me in his photo book and said "Mama" and then pointed to me on the computer screen...melting my heart already.  The orphanage director told Rob to keep an eye on him because he's been known to get out of his bed at night and leave his room...What? Oh my goodness. He is still in diapers. No signs of potty training yet. He says about a handful of other words none of which we know because it's in Mandarin. He ate very well for dinner and had a blast in the bath tub. He seems really adventurous...that suits his Daddy very much. It was funny to see Rob trying to keep him still to Skype with me. He was all over the place. The last email of the night from Rob said "by the way, your job is hard...very hard! I am doing ok but this is stretching me in a huge way...i like it though. Cant wait for the mohawks and then Shamien Island...Starbucks here we come!!! "
I know that He knows how hard it is to be home with little ones, but he's never done it completely alone like this. And by the way...He's doing an amazing job. I am totally impressed with my husband. It's not that I didn't think he could do it. I just didn't think he would do it this well : )

After bath he started grieving. He ended up on a pallet on the floor and pretty much cried himself to sleep. Rob did great with him though. Overall a good first day together. The grieving breaks your heart, but God's grace is perfect and in a matter of days the grieving will stop and it will be like he's always been with Rob. It's a beautiful thing.

All this time I've hated absolutely hated that I couldn't go. From the moment we booked Rob's tickets its been a frustration for me. I have prayed and prayed for God to give me peace about it and peace didn't come. I knew in my head that it made more sense for me to stay with the girls. I knew they couldn't handle me leaving them for two weeks, but it killed me to think of not being there in those first days with Josiah. I remembered Izzy grieving and holding her in my arms and she wept for hours. Comforting her the best I could as she cried herself to sleep those first nights. It was awful. I remember the frightened look that still sticks in my mind on Mari's face when she realized that she wasn't going back to Hidden Treasures that first night. She held me so tight. I couldn't imagine not being there for Jos. But today something amazing happened to me, God's grace has poured out on my soul as well as Josiah's. I have had complete faith in my husband to handle whatever comes his way.  I know deep down inside that God is with them both. I haven't had peace about this since March when we booked Rob's ticket and today peace came raining down on me. Not only do I have peace finally but there is something special about Rob being there alone and being able to bond first with Josiah. Something that feels appropriate for a father and son. They will come home and Rob will go back to work and Josiah will be with me all day every day. Rob doesn't get to spend as much time with our kiddos as I do. What I've come to realize yet again is that God's plan is perfect even when it doesn't make sense to us. He is sovereign over all things. Clearly this is how it's supposed to be and finally my heart is settled about it.

Now, don't get wrong... I can hardly wait to love on my little guy...my big guy too. I pray these 10 days fly by and maybe I'll get more than 2 hours sleep tonight : )

Day 11 - He's there

I finally slept last night. He finally slept in China. I feel much better today. He sounds so much better today than he did last night. We are going in the right direction now! Ahh... He's never been up for that long. He's always slept on the flights. I can never sleep on a plane and I'm usually a zombie by the time we get there and he's always wide awake and rested. This is strange territory for him. I've never heard him sound so confused. I felt bad for him. I'm so glad he has a whole day before he meets Josiah. He really needs it. The hotel is beautiful (he said). Not that I have any pictures of it yet... : ) He's sent a few from the back alleys he explored today. It's so funny...men and women are so different. Every time we go to China I'm taking pictures of beautiful Pagodas, the parks, the lakes, the children. All of the beauty of China. He's taking pictures of markets with strange foods, store fronts and back alleys. Today he sends me nothing but pictures of shanty town China. So typical : )  Both sides obviously represent China and where our children come from, but come on send me some other pictures....please !

So, here's a sample of what I got this morning from him...

Men and women...so very different : ) 

Day 12 - He's almost there

He didn't sleep on the plane at all...and ended up falling out at the Shanghai airport. I did the exact same thing at the same airport last time. He's on his way to Wuhan now. We miss you Daddy.

0 to 13

Finally today we were here...no more chains to cut : )

Countdown to Josiah for Rob has finally arrived...He's finally going. Praise Jesus!

The girls were so sad to see him leave. I'm sad too : ( We've never been apart for 13 days. He's my best friend and I'm just not real happy about not seeing him every day. I'm hiding it pretty well though. Trying to be upbeat for the girls, but the truth is I miss him terribly.

I don't like to do life without him. 

The paradox...

I'm so excited that I can hardly stand it!!! I've kissed him goodbye and sent him on a mission to get our baby and I'm ecstatic. I'm so happy that he gets to meet our son in two days. I know he's worried that he won't know what to do, but He trusts in the Lord and that's all he needs to know. Once his grief is over, Josiah and his Daddy will have a great time together. I'm tickled that those two get to roam around China together getting into God only knows what kind of trouble. I can see him at the Starbucks on Shamian Island with Josiah having a wonderful time. I'm just so excited about the adventure of it for him. Just like our other trips to China it will be emotional, spiritual, beautiful, difficult, amazing and a time that he'll never forget.

As you can imagine I'm a roller coaster of emotions....

So here we are now:

13 more stinkin chains on the door....we just counted down like 55 of them...UGH!!!

So my thoughts are:

Josiah..."Daddy is coming"

My sweet girls..."Daddy will be back soon"

Bobby..."you can do this"

and Mommy..."be strong !"

Enjoy the adventure....

13 days....7 more flights, 1 train ride and I'll be back at the airport.

Day 1 and Day 14 "Wisdom... Izzy style"

Izzy: "Momma, I'm feeling very complicated about all of this"
Me: "About what baby?" -  (don't you love when they throw a new word out there to try it out?)
Izzy: "About Daddy leaving"
Me: "What part of that makes you feel complicated?"
Izzy: "Well I don't want him to leave because I'll be sad, but I want him to leave because he has to go get Josiah."
Me: "Oh, I see..you're sad that he's leaving, but you understand that he has to go get your brother"
Izzy: "No Momma that's not it, it's more like I love when he kisses me goodnight, but I don't like the pokies on his beard."
Me: "Oh ok, now I get it....you know Iz, I'm feeling the exact same way"

One more day till he leaves....fourteen till they come home...SIGH!!!