331 days

I've waited for this day for 331 days. Every night I tell him "you are loved, you are wanted, you are a child of God".  Every night for 331 days I've promised him that I will never leave.  I've prayed over his sleeping body at night for God to show him what it means to be loved. What that feels like. What it looks like. Oh, how I have longed for this day.

Most almost four year olds trust that when they wake up in the morning their mom and dad will be there. There is no reason not to. They understand love. They receive it easily and give it just as easily. However; children from hard places don't know that. They have to be taught. They have to be shown. It's hard. They run from you when they get hurt instead of to you. Sometimes when they need you most they hit you and push you away. They have no understanding of family or that you will never leave them. They aren't aware that even at their young age they've built walls around themselves to keep from being hurt. For them to truly know love it takes time. It takes patience. It takes a lot of prayer and love. It takes God's amazing grace.

A couple of days ago...331 days after I met Josiah..he came to me unsolicited all on his own. I was sitting on the floor of his bedroom. He sat down next to me and looked me right in the eyes, he put his little hands on my cheeks and said "I love you Momma" and gave me a big hug. I held him in my arms and cried. 331 days!

God's grace is sufficient. Without it I would absolutely not make it.

This has been such a hard journey with Josiah. Izzy and Mari came from a place where they were really loved on. They were prayed over. They were prepared for us. Josiah had none of that. This road has been challenging to say the least. We trust though that our heavenly father is walking with us every step of the way.

Today almost a year later he understands love.  I saw it in his eyes. I felt it as I held him in my arms. He knows that I love him and he loves me! And to God be the glory.