Crossroads.....

Ok, so I’ve been crazy busy lately and haven’t updated…sorry. These little girls are truly filling my life in such a blessed way. What in the world would I be doing without them?  Who knew I had this much room in my heart. I read on someone’s Facebook page the other day a Danish quote “If there’s room in your heart, there’s room in your house”.  That made me laugh out loud….loved it. Mainly because right now I have no idea where we are putting Josiah in our house. It’s been the subject of recent debate.  We don’t have another bedroom but we do have two extra rooms (one is a playroom and one is a formal dining). I doubt seriously that he will go in the playroom. The girls have so much in there I’d be lucky to carve out a section to add some “boy” stuff to the mix. The formal dining on the other hand is mainly wasted space, so that looks like the ticket. Who knows though. To add to the uncertainty Rob has been called back to vocational ministry and we are traveling the road so to speak of seeking God’s will for us. We will actually be “traveling the road” next week on our first pilgrimage to an area of the country that we feel He is calling us. We leave Thursday and will head to Tennessee, then on to North Carolina, South Carolina and then Georgia. Hoping for some clarity and discernment about what He is saying to us. We’ve never done anything like this before so it’s a little scary, but absolutely feels like the next step in this journey.  A career change, physical move and an adoption all at the same time could send me over the edge. I’m ok with change, but this is quite a bit for me. So, as we wait for Josiah (day 85 of our LOA wait…UGH!), we are walking towards our Father and seeking His will for our family. Rob said to me recently that he just wanted to make sure that we are at the crossroads of where God’s will for our lives and our hearts desire intersects. Well I want that very much too and I believe that we are there. I just wish that I had an idea of what that looked like. Chances are Josiah will never live in this house. That ought to be a relief to know that I don’t have to figure out which room he’ll go in right now. I can figure that out in the next house, right?  Not that easy for me. I trust God. I do! It’s just a lot more trusting is required of me this time. More than ever before.  Like there are degrees of trust when it comes to God. Well, either I trust Him or not. So, I’m going with “I trust Him”!! I have no idea what state we’ll live in. No idea what church Rob will work at. No idea when our LOA is coming. No idea how God is going to provide for the rest of this adoption. No idea how I will live for the first time in 41 years away from my family. No idea about anything. It feels very out of control some days. You see how the wheels could come off the track right now! I recognize this journey is about trust. I know that I’m being stretched. I know that on the other side of this journey I will look back and see God’s perfect timing throughout it all. I’ll see His hand at work in all of the details. I’ll see more of His tapestry come into focus. It will be beautiful and I will adore how He majestically brought it all together.

So, I’ve got my nose in scripture, praying like crazy and hanging on for dear life. I’ve gotta say….this is not a bad place to be.  At the crossroads of God’s will and our heart’s desire. No, not a bad place at all.