Four Years Ago Today...my life changed

On Mother's Day 2008 I met Isabella Ting.  I had dreamed about her. I had seen her pictures. I got to even hear her little laugh over the phone one time. I used to think about what she would smell like when I met her. It was one long pregnancy : ) Finally after a long wait, four years ago today I met my daughter.

This is the first glimpse I ever had of her... I knew that she was meant to be mine.

I could hardly wait.  Almost a year later I stood on the Great Wall  of China knowing that I would meet her in just a little more than a day. To say it was surreal is an understatement.

I tried to take in all of the beauty of China, but the truth is I couldn't think of anything else but Izzy.

On May 11th 2008 we left the conference room that we had met her in and closed the door to our hotel room and we stared at her in disbelief. She was real and she was ours.

So we spent the day getting to know our sweet girl

It was such a special time....then at night the grieving began and my heart broke

Night after night I held her while she cried herself to sleep.

Over those next days I slowly got to know that silly little girl that has become my "Beanie"

I watched her sleep for hours at a time...I was pretty smitten with her.

She eventually got to know me and became more comfortable with her Momma

I spent a lot of time wondering what she was thinking in those first days.

Did she like me? Was I what she expected?

As we left China with our new daughter I remember feeling like I had gotten away with something.

It was a strange feeling. It seemed so unreal almost like a dream that I would wake up from and realize that she had not be real after all. 

I kept thinking what did I ever do to deserve her?

Four years later I still look at her and wonder...why me? How is it that I get to be her Momma?

Why am I so blessed to have her as my daughter?

I'm reminded often of God's grace in my life. It's not deserving in any way. It's just a gift.

My Isabella is a gift that God's grace brought into my life... 

Thank you Lord for this most precious gift.